Worksheets

Affairs

Affair Recovery Phases and Timeline – this details the different phases a couple healing from an affair may experience from discovery of the affair to lasting change and healing.

Affair Recovery Resources – A list of podcast episodes, books, and TED Talks about healing from an affair.

Affair-Proofing Your Relationship – An exercise for couples with a list of questions to discuss and determine together related to relationship boundaries.

After the Affair Ch. 1: The Hurt Partner’s Response – This is a PDF scan of this chapter from Janis Abrahms Spring’s After the Affair. This chapter provides guidance and information for the partner who was betrayed.

After the Affair Ch. 2: The Unfaithful Partner’s Response – This chapter of After the Affair provides guidance and information for the partner who had the affair.

After the Affair Ch. 6: Building Trust – This chapter of After the Affair describes the process of rebuilding trust for both the betrayed partner and the unfaithful partner. Exercises and suggestions for trust building are included in this chapter.

After the Affair Ch. 9: Learning to Forgive – This chapter of After the Affair unpacks commonly held assumptions about forgiveness and provides a template for partners to write a new covenant for their relationship.

Assessment of Safety – This handout provides a 0-5 scale, created by Amanda Tapper, for couples to assess how secure their relationship is as they are healing from an affair.

Compassionate Communication After the Affair – This document, taken from Shirley P. Glass’s NOT “Just Friends”, provides guidelines for couples in what to focus on and what to avoid as they communicate about the affair.

How Can I Forgive You? – This document outlines the process of forgiveness, including healthy and unhealthy approaches, tasks for the offender, and stages of self-forgiveness, from Janis Abrahms Spring’s After the Affair

Preparation for the Affair Story: Betrayed Partner – This worksheet, created by Amanda Tapper, provides some prompts, information, and space to take notes for the betrayed partner as they prepare to receive the story of the affair from the unfaithful partner.

Preparation for the Affair Story: Unfaithful Partner – This worksheet, created by Amanda Tapper, provides prompts and structure for the unfaithful partner to write the story of the affair.

Proactivity, Reassurance, and Consistency – This handout, created by Amanda Tapper, informs the unfaithful partner of these three elements of the healing process.

Risk Assessment – This handout, created by Amanda Tapper, provides a visual aid for understanding what low, moderate, and high-risk elements of a relationship in affair recovery look like.

Safety, Security, and Trust – This handout, created by Amanda Tapper, informs the betrayed partner of these three elements of the healing process. 

Talking About the Affair – This handout, created by Jebediah Sawyer, provides structure and guidelines for both partners to have a productive and relational conversation about the affair.

Abuse/Domestic Violence

Emotional Abuse Questionnaire – brief questionnaire developed by Neil Jacobson and John Gottman for self-assessment of emotionally abusive behaviors in a relation ship. Scoring guide is included.

Equality Wheel – full page graphic from the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence that details each element of equality in a healthy relationship.

Power/Control Scales – scales to assess conflict and power/control in relationships. 

Power and Control Wheel – a graphic from domestic abuse intervention programs that details the different components of abuse, power, and control.

Questions About Abuse – a series of open-ended questions to ask a controlling, disrespectful, or abusive partner with the goal of understanding the other partner’s experience of abuse (from David J. Decker, MA, LP)

ADHD/Neurodivergence

Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria Self-Test – an assessment to self-test for the experience of intense emotional pain upon feeling rejected or shamed for adults and children with ADHD. 

Amen Worksheets & Quizzes

“Making a Good Brain Great” Quiz – This quiz by Daniel Amen assesses for the likelihood of issues within specific regions of the brain based on symptoms experienced by the user.

Anger

Anger Index – This questionnaire by Dave Decker allows users to self-assess the degree to which their anger causes problems in their life using a likert scale to answer the questions and then score the questions. 

Anxiety

Anxiety Reduction Tools Explained – This document lists and explains tools and techniques clients can use to reduce anxiety.

Causes of Anxiety, Phobias, Panic Attacks, Obsessions and Compulsions – This scale asks users to rate from 1-5 how significantly each of the listed symptoms contribute to their experience of these conditions. Created by Nancy Carlson. 

Challenging Negative Thoughts – This worksheet, from TherapistAid, provides a series of questions for clients to ask themselves to practice challenging negative thoughts. 

Identifying the Fears – This worksheet guides clients through analyzing the likelihood of fears coming to pass as a means of reducing anxiety.

Past Successful Anxiety Coping – This solution-focused worksheet guides clients to utilize and recognize their past resourcefulness in coping with anxiety.

Worry Time Exercise – This worksheet provides instructions for how to develop a “worry time” ritual as well as a log to track the ritual daily and monitor success in reducing anxiety.

Atkinson (PET-C)

Daily Frustration Log – This worksheet asks clients to record details from each frustrating exchange in their relationship and their efforts to implement change.

Recalibration Protocol (I have a female partner) – This handout guides upset clients from a state of dysregulation to one of curiosity and preparedness to handle the conflict effectively.

Recalibration Protocol (I have a male partner) – This handout guides upset clients from a state of dysregulation to one of curiosity and preparedness to handle the conflict effectively.

Steps for Getting on the Same Page After a Frustrating Exchange (I have a female partner) – This handout provides concrete action steps for preparing for a follow-up conversation after an ineffective conflict.

Steps for Getting on the Same Page After a Frustrating Exchange (I have a male partner) – This handout provides concrete action steps for preparing for a follow-up conversation after an ineffective conflict.