An affair. Now what?

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Should I stay?  Should I go?  Can our relationship be repaired?  These are common questions that couples who have been shattered by an affair often face.  Infidelity marks the end for some relationships.  However, many actually survive, but some just barely…while others thrive.  Why?  The difference may lie in what couples do with this experience. The hurt part wants to cry out “Was I not enough?”  The betrayed part wants to scream “How could you do this to me?”  Undoubtedly, those wounded parts need to be healed for the relationship to survive.  But what if couples didn’t stop there? What if couples continued to dig deeper to uncover what the affair really meant for both partners?  This does not need to mean the end for couples.  Or maybe it should?  The end of that version of their relationship.  Of that version of themselves.  This could actually be a new beginning.  Of something better…stronger.  Consider the possibility that your relationship could not only survive an affair…but thrive.

Check out Esther Perel’s TEDtalk: Rethinking Infidelity

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